I had a time where I thought hard skills meant holding horses up to a rigourous standard, imposing discipline on horses, always asking the horses to give a little more each day. And I saw an ethical dodginess in that - because what if the horse couldn't give anymore? What if they were already doing their best, and my asking for more pushed them beyond what was sustainable for them? And so I flopped, angsted, and I pissed off multiple horses.
And then I realized I was looking at it backwards - the hard skills were not something I was forcing on my horse. The hard skills were a quest I chose to undertake for MYSELF. That means being disciplined with ME. Holding MYSELF to account, raising the bar for ME. I could be rigourous with my own posture, my own timing, my own consistency - and then gratefully observe my horses feedback. And then I could try my very best, while staying within the capacity of whatever horse was infront of me.
Of course, I quickly realized my very best hard skills had a whole lot of huge gaping big holes :D Which had been conveniently hidden behind all the angst!!
But more I stitch up those holes, the happier my horse seems to be. And this new way of looking at hard skills has been an accelerant to my horsemanship.