Some people have said that it is poor form to bounce from teacher to teacher, course to course, soaking up wisdom and knowledge from a variety of sources.
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The only people I've heard say that are those selling a method ;)
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To start with, I value what I have learnt, Im grateful for the time spent, I honor those who have taught me, I'd do it all again... and nevertheless, I am now moving on.
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Imagine a gecko, sitting on a tree, looking out over a river.
If I gecko stays in one spot and never moves, they get realy really good at seeing the river from a single, fixed angle. The gecko will know everything within that view, but will only be able to understand the river from a single perspective.
If a gecko moves constantly from branch to branch and never stops to rest for a moment - the gecko will get totally dizzy and the whole river will just look like one big confused blurr. It wont ever look at any particular view for long enough to be able to understand it, and so wont be able to grasp each element of the river in its wider context
I think the best situation is something in the middle. If the gecko moves often enough to see the same thing from different perspectives, but stays still long enough to understand what it is looking at - the gecko will get a more complete understanding of the whole landscape.
Consider as well the difference between someone who shows up at a new teacher "fix me, I'm drowning, make me clay in your hands!!" and someone who shows up at a new teacher "hey, I see you teach x. I want to learn x. Please and thank you."
The first student is looking for a landing place, something to come home to, a place to be where they are given legitimacy, structure and validation under someone elses umbrella and expertise.
The second student is at home in themself. They know what they know, they know what they don't know, and they are seeking out those they want to learn from. They aren't looking to be madeover in anothers image - just to connect with someone else and learn something new.
I think it takes all kinds of people to make up a world, and I dont think either way is totally right or wrong. Both have value, and both have a shadow side.
For me, I often find I struggle to critically analyse a method I am first learning. In the beginning of learning something new, I need to trust in the teacher and follow their instructions with a lot of faith and diligence in order to see properly how the ideas will work with a horse.
But I think its important as I gain more understanding and experience with a different way of doing things, that I start experiment with the tools I have learnt outside the parameters that I was taught them in, question that whys and the whats and the how-comes, and to relanguage the principals into ones that genuinely come from me.
Then finally, I need to be able to set aside the pieces that I don't see as fitting into my current situation, and move forward with the ones that do.
If I just keep blinding repeating someone elses phrases and applying someone elses tools, I'll never understand anything well enough to apply it independantly to the situations I am actually in with the horse actually infront of me. I'll end up parroting their beliefs and experiences, rather than living from my own.
Ill create tidy stories and then fail to ground them in my day to day horsemanship
Ill start to find my own creative flow and intuiton gets hampered by wanting to align myself with someone else.
And if I never move on, I can't look back with a fuller understanding and see the landscape deeper with my new persective.
All of this musing came to a head for me when I realized a lot of what I was seeking from some teachers was either philosophy or validation, rather than practical skills.
Philosophy
'Aaah! But what if I want to learn XYZs horse training philosophy?'
My partner asked me 'Why are you trying to learn and live by someone elses golden rules of horsemanship?" "Horses are safe with you." "You have good judgement" "You can make the best choices for your horses yourself, in the moment".
Why should I follow someone elses philosophy of horsemanship? Isnt my own equally valid? I'm not saying Im going to go out and invent anything new, nor am I going to uncover hidden universal truths. But I can work out what works best for me and my pony, and then I can practise that.
I think a really important realization for me is that it is not an equine service providers job to think for me. Thats an unfair position to put someone else in, to put myself in, and to put my horse in. At the end of the day, its me who has the responsibility to make the right decisions for me and my horse. Any attempt to outsource my own critical thinking by asking my equine service providers to convince me, to overextend their own selves and own roles and own safety to talk me into x and y is not appropriate. Its up to me. I need to own this.
Validation
Finally, I realized that a large amount of what I was getting from some communities was validation. I liked being told my ideas were good, that I asked good questions, that my concerns were valid. Nothing wrong with a bit of positive reinforcement ;) But the shadow side became that I was constantly coming up with new ideas and then feeling like I needed to run them past the group before I was allowed to use them. Thats not a criticism of any learning community - thats something inside of ME I need to work on. I want to learn to validate myself, rather than relying on others to do it for me. Which requires me to actually, um, practise doing that.
So what am I doing next?
My own stuff mostly! Something I have really enjoyed is I havent actually taken many lessons this year. I've been keeping an eye on other peoples content but otherwise just freestyling with my pony. Its been really fantastic for me.
When I do circle back to having some more lessons - I'm planning to work on myself more.
I want to become a more confident rider, consolidate some of the decreases in anxiety that I've already begun to enjoy. I want to refine some of my skills - I'm still rubbish at lunging horses. I'm going to just do stuff.
I'll learn skills off different teachers, but I dont want to be a sponge - I want to sift through and grab whats good for me and discard what isn't. I want to work stuff out experimentally with my peers, rather than follow in the path of a mentor