A year or so ago I was watching a horse woman give one of the most impressive demonstrations I've ever seen. She and her mare were moving smoothly through all the classical inhand work - walk, trot, circle, shoulder in, traver, renver, leg yeild. She started off in a rope halter, then swapped to a traditional cavesson and later a bridle. She moved between standing close to her horse, and further away. She danced with a whip for a while, then put it down. She rotated between different positions and aids - standing on the inside, the outside. Walking forwards and backwards. Working off one rein or two. By the shoulder or the hip. Regardless of what changed, she and her horse flowed together beautifully.
The equipment she was using, the aids she was applying, the classical school she was imitating - none of that mattered. Each of those superfluous things changed fluildly over the course of the silent demonstration. The core of what she was doing was dancing with her horse. That stayed the same.
I spent a lot of time in the pony club system as a kid. At pony club, you learn that there is one, correct way to do everything. I also spent a lot of time doing natural horsemanship, learning yet another, one, correct way to do everything. Then I went off a worked for someone else for a long time - I learnt another, singular way to do everything.
As an adult looking for ways to do right by my horses, I was originally looking for a final one, correct way to do everything. I now realise this is fucking stupid. 1. Horses are individuals 2. People are individuals 3. Contexts are individual 4. No one knows everything 5. We are all still learning
If I was still stuck in believing there was only way correct method (positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, natural horsemanship, emotional horsemanship, classical dressage, equitation science etc) to train horses, and this way was "moral", then I might find it impossible to be friends with anyone who didn't do train their horses exactly the same as me.
If I was still hung up on the "symbols" of horsemanship (a bitless bridle, a rope halter, a whip, a carrot stick, a clicker, a curb, a bosal, a cavesson etc) then I might find it impossible to be friends with anyone who didn't use equipment exactly the same as me.
If I was militant about phrasing and language and terminology, and judged the words people use to describe a situation harder than I judged actually watching them with horses then I might find it impossible to be friends with anyone who didn't speak exactly the same as me.
Brief sidetrack...
Do you know how many people will say the most dogwhistly things about respect and must-do and dominance and then proceed to demonstrate beautiful, elegant, caring, thoughtful horsemanship? Do you know how many people will write entire books speaking about horses in a particular cold, rigid way, and then demonstrate enormous tact, empathy and duty of care to the horses actually in front of them?
Do you know how many people are the opposite? They talk a huge game about being horse first but act like a cunt when the rubber meets the road. Disclaimer - sometimes a hypocrit is just someone in the process of changing. (Credit for quote to Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer)
Anyhow, back on track...
I think sometimes horse people get stuck in little tribes delineated by easy to spot symbols of membership. Those symbols are things you can see at a glance - the words they use, their equipment, the trainer they espose. If a horse person believes membership of their tribe is connected to morality, then that means everyone outside that tribe must be "bad" and therefore not a potential friend.
I'm going on a limb here and back myself to say something controversial. I think I have the ability to recognize good horsemanship. Regardless of method Regardless of equipment Regardless of terminology
I'm willing to be friends with any horseperson whose actions demonstrate they genuinely care about horses. Even if I don't agree with everything they do.
And I'm willing to learn from anyone who demonstrates beauty and skill in some facet of horsemanship. Even if I don't agree with everything they do.
For this reason, I've found the weirder I've gotten the more friends I've made <3